


Obscurum

by Abyssia



Category: Saint Seiya
Genre: Domestic, Emotional Healing, F/M, Fluff, abuse trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-27
Updated: 2019-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-29 15:51:07
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,385
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15076514
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Abyssia/pseuds/Abyssia
Summary: Pandora survives, and Ikki pulls her from the rubble of Hades. It's duty, he tells himself, that compels him to save her, to tend to her, and bring her into the light. For they are two souls, so similarly scarred. IN their mutual understanding, perhaps true healing can begin.





	1. Revival

The moment that Hades fell, he felt her light rekindle. Even an entire dimension away, the girl he had left for dead at the gate to Acheron suddenly burst back to life. The cries of jubilation from his friends seemed to fade out, becoming distant as he turned around, staggering towards the distant light.

Ikki was only stopped by a gentle grip around his wrist, he didn’t even need to turn around to know who it was. When he did however, Ikki saw the downcast and forlorn face of his brother. Shun’s whole form seemed to fold in on itself as he was face once again with the inevitable.

“Ikki…” Shun said softly. “Please don’t go…not yet.”

Knowing that he owed his brother more than he could ever give, Ikki decided to do what he could. Without uttering a word, Ikki pulled his brother into a tight embrace, holding the trembling boy there for a few moments.

“Shun, I promise that I won’t be gone for long this time,” no matter how often he said it he knew that it would never be the truth. “But please believe me, I have some thing that I need to do.” There was no way that he could escape without questions if said what exactly that thing was. Pandora had only been their enemy as far as they knew. But Ikki himself had once been the enemy of the bronze saints, something that Ikki could not quite bring himself to forget.

Finally letting go, Shun’s hands fell away and Ikki turned his back on his only living family one more time. He couldn’t ignore the feelings of sadness and betrayal that radiated from Shun, seeming to only grow stronger the further Ikki got from him. But instead of trying to ignore it, Ikki took the shame, and the pain and held it in his heart. There could be no forgiveness, there could only be what had to be done. 

He flew with the wings of his god cloth, back over the fields of Elysium, across the void to where the mysterious Cosmo flickered. The realm of hades was falling to pieces and her body and soul would certainly be lost in the process. Pandora, a girl who was controlled by Hades against her will, whose whole family was sacrificed for his resurrection; if she was indeed alive, Ikki would make sure that she would know that her revenge had been exacted.

Ikki had managed to fulfill that one promise, if no other.

It was duty, Ikki told himself, that compelled him back towards her sleeping form. It was to fulfill his promise, to thank her for saving his life, for ensuring victory. She deserved it, it was only right. Ikki had no time for naïve feelings or thoughts, he only had time for action.

Pandora still lay right where he had left her, peaceful and serene. Her face was as pale as death, but upon closer inspection, he found that the spark of her life still burned. Her needless death by Thanatos had by stopped by Hypnos’ eternal sleep. And now that they were all defeated, the spell was broken.

Ikki took the sleeping girl into his arms, holding her tightly against his chest. While her heart was beating, it was still possible that she might never wake again. The thought entered his mind and then immediately left as the tunnel around them continued to collapse. His only choice was to throw himself back into the void and pray for Athena’s grace to guide them out.

* * *

 

When Pandora finally awoke, there was nothing that she recognized. Not the sights, the smells nor the sounds. Everything was completely and utterly new to her, at least that’s how it first appeared. After her consciousness fully returned to her, she realized. This world was not unfamiliar; it was simply forgotten. She was at long last once again in the human realm without the gauze of hades pulled over her eyes. The world was suddenly in vibrant color and she felt like she might become blinded.

“So you’re finally awake,” the voice that she heard was surprisingly gentle.

“I must be,” Pandora replied softly, her eyes fixed on the man who sat at her bedside Phoenix Ikki, a vibrant flame that pulsed within arm’s reach. She was both enthralled and terrified by it’s heat. “Where are we?” She asked, her eyes now locked with his. She searched his face for any sort of hint as to what he had planned with her. But his expression betrayed nothing, no malice or hatred.

“We are in the hunting cabin of a villager I once met. They insist that I owe them a debt. In this circumstance, I didn’t exactly have any ability to refuse them,” Ikki stated, his gaze not wavering. 

“How charitable of them,” she remarked.

Ikki broke the stare and push himself up from his chair. “We can stay here as long as you need to. Do you think you can stand?”

Pandora stared up at him for a moment. _“We can stay here,”_ he had said. He was intending to stay by her and take care of her this whole time? There was no reason that Pandora could think of for him to want to do that.

“I don’t know, I haven’t tried yet,” Pandora sat up and swung her legs over the side of the bed, about to get up on her own when Ikki reached out a hand. Pandora looked up at him again, shocked at the sudden display of kindness. Without a word from either of them, Pandora took his hand and allowed herself to be helped to her feet.

There was continued silence between them, but Ikki didn’t let go of her hand. With how firm and steady his grip was, she found that she didn’t want him to. She held onto his hand like the lifeline that it was, keeping her eyes averted as she let herself be led by him.

They emerged form the cabin into the midday sun. Pandora flinched immediately, throwing up her free hand to shield her eyes from the sun. 

“How does it feel?” Ikki asked suddenly.

Pandora wasn’t prepared for what she saw when she met his eyes. His face was filled withtenderness, his mouth forming a small smile. “I’m sorry?”

“The sun,” Ikki answered, gesturing out to the world around him. “You’ve been trapped in Hades’ castle or the underworld this whole time, right?”

Pandora turned her face away, pondering for a few moments. “It feels…wrong.” She said, still unable to look back at Ikki. “I feel like…I shouldn’t be here. I shouldn’t…I don’t deserve this.”

Ikki said nothing but interlaced his fingers with hers, causing Pandora to take in a small gasp. Ikki was having difficulty finding the words to say. Already the act of holding her hand like this was far beyond his normal behavior, but he could tell that she needed this, and perhaps, he needed it too.

“You feel like…you don’t deserve this?”

“Yes,” Pandora replied.

Ikki nodded in understanding, pausing before starting to speak again. “When I was 9 years old,” Ikki began, “I was taken away from my little brother in order to complete my Saint Training,” not sure where he was going, Ikki decided to start walking, leading Pandora away from the blinding light and into the shade. “Originally my brother had been chosen to go to Death Queen Island, the most deadly of the saint training locations,”

Pandora listened, silently and intently. While she had spilled her soul to Ikki, there was still much that Pandora had left to learn about him.

“They said that it was ‘hell on earth’ and,” he gave a dark chuckle, “after now having been to hell myself, I can say that they were right.” 

Ikki continued to lead Pandora by the hand, down the hilly path and through the nearby hunting forest. “The training of course was meant to be difficult, but corruption had made its way to my teacher, and then it made its way to me,” Ikki was not able to hide the pain and suffering of that time of his life, Pandora of course noticing how his face hardened and his eyes clouded.

“My master…I was told that he was once a fair and just man. But something changed, and he became nothing but a cruel and ruthless monster,” Ikki grit his teeth, his hand clenching around Pandora’s. “Being reared by such a monster, I had no choice but to become one myself.” Ikki looked down at his free hand, pausing his steps, Pandora swaying into his side. 

“You were forced to become a monster, forged against your will,” Pandora whispered.

“Yes, that I was,” Ikki said solemnly. “My heart became so warped and tormented, that I even tried to kill my own brother and his friends.”

Pandora’s eyes flew open in shock and she gaped at him. “What?!” Looking at Ikki’s face, it was clear that he still hadn’t fully let go of that guilt. But after the dedication and love that he had towards Shun, Pandora could scarcely believe it.

Ikki grimaced, dragging his free hand across his face. “I can’t even remember what was going through my head at that time. I can’t even imagine what could have driven me to that point.” Ikki’s fingernails dug into the skin of his face as he inhaled slowly through his teeth. “I don’t want to believe that I am capable of such things but…I did them. I tried to kill Shun, I looked him in the eye and aimed to kill. Clearly, a monster must have been sleeping inside me the whole time, and it simply got its chance to run free.”

Pandora shook her head, her hands trembling as her body suddenly moved on its own. “Ikki, you’re wrong,” her words came out muffled as Pandora had flung herself into Ikki’s chest, wrapping her arms around him as tightly as she could. Ikki stiffened at the sudden physical contact, but didn’t push her away immediately.

There were no more words, only simple understanding. The pain that they both felt was overwhelming, and even the smallest amount of human touch could at the very least start to numb the pain. They stood there, secluded in the forest, arms around each other in complete disregard for any social convention or rule. It didn’t matter, none of it mattered, when they were forced through such horrors at such young and tender ages.

After what felt like ages, Ikki pulled himself away almost reluctantly. The more he was with her, the more he could start to perceive the shimmering of her Cosmo, the subtle fluctuations of emotion. In time, they would learn to perceive each other’s thoughts and feelings as the closest of comrades. And even now at the start, their hearts were so similarly scarred that their suffering seemed to resonate with one another. A depth of understanding that superseded words.

Ikki took Pandora’s hand once again, leading her to walk with him. They remained silent for several minutes longer, Pandora clinging closely to Ikki’s side as she continued to look around her. The world that she saw somehow felt less and less real the more she took it in. The smells felt smothering, and the colors blinding. Even the sound of song birds felt piercing and deafening. The beauty of this world was relentless and disarming.

Eventually the two of them came to a stop, Pandora finally trying to look up and straight ahead. When her eyes adjusted, she gasped, made completely breathless by the sight before her. Ikki had led her to a high cliff overlooking a verdant valley. They could see for miles in every direction, rivers, forests and small villages dotted across the expanse.

“Beautiful, isn’t it?” Ikki said, squeezing her hand. “Sometimes, when the darkness becomes too overwhelming, I find that coming to a place like this helps lift my spirits,” Ikki of course had hoped that this would do something similar for Pandora. With a small smile on his face, Ikki looked over to meet her eyes. When he looked at her however, he saw that her eyes were wide, tears streaming silently down her face.

Ikki’s lips parted in a small gasp and he reached out to her with his other hand. “Pandora…what’s wrong?” 

“I--I…” words refused to come as she struggled to grasp all that was before her. Her hand went limp in Ikki’s grip and she stared straight ahead. This was impossible, completely impossible. There was no way that this was real, that she was alive and allowed to behold such beauty. Pandora’s knees gave way and she sunk to the ground, Ikki’s grip on her hand only tightening.

“Hey! Are you alright?” he asked, kneeling down and placing his hands on her shoulders.

Pandora kept sobbing without replying, Ikki’s concern only growing. At long last, she managed to utter a few words. “Please…” she whispered, her voice barely audible. “I don’t want to wake up…”

“Huh?”

“Please,” she said again, her tone pleading. “If this is a dream, don’t ever let me wake up, don’t let it end. If this is some illusion before I die…don’t--”

“Pandora,” Ikki said firmly as his hands suddenly left her.

“None of this is possible, it can’t be happening—”

“Why do you say that?”

The answer was obvious, but she didn’t have the will to say it. “I died didn’t I? I died while I was thinking of you, thinking about how I--” Pandora swallowed, unable to finish the thought. “This can’t be real…”

Ikki pressed his lips together, unsure what to do or say in order to help her. He was admittedly not very well equipped for these situations. Ikki had been trained only to fight and kill, not in how to help or give comfort. And the one person who had been there to give him such kindness was now no longer of this world. 

“You aren’t dead,” he said, taking one of her hands and lifting it up to his face. “Look, feel how warm that is?” Pandora turned to him, her eyes wide as she met his gaze. “You’ve known a whole life in the underworld. Tell me, did you feel anything like this?”

“No…” this kind of warmth had been unknown to her in the underworld. She had known the heat of inferno; the blistering steam of the frothing Acheron; but nothing like this. Even the body of Shun that Hades had borrowed had become cold when he entered it. Ikki was warm. His skin pulsed with light and his Cosmo burned like the heat of the sun. Pandora’s tears continued to fall as she held Ikki’s gaze. He held her hand to his cheek, not letting go.

Ikki continued to watch the crying girl before him, waiting and watching patiently, not moving nor speaking a word. His legs started to go a little numb, but he didn’t mind it, but simply stayed there with her. She was still floating, distant and ethereal, her mind and heart still weren’t rooted solidly to earth. After all, her every earthly connection had been severed by Hades long ago, she was nothing more than a floating vessel now. But at least she didn’t have to be alone in that moment.

When Pandora’s tears finally dried, Ikki brought her to her feet, taking her hand and turning to face the valley again.

"It's so beautiful..." Pandora breathed, her body starting to lean towards the cliff's edge ever so slightly. 

"Pandora..." Ikki said, his voice becoming stern. 

Pandora's face was full of a dark fascination as she took in just how high the cliff-face really was, her eyes were wide, and yet frighteningly blank. "In Hades' it was like I was immortal..." she continued. "With that necklace, I could go anywhere. I could fly, I could soar over the hills and vallies." She took another step towards the edge, her arm reaching out into the glimmering void.

"Pandora!" Ikki said again, jerking on her wrist and pulling her back towards him. Her eyes were vague and sleepy as she looked back up at him, it was as if she was really drifting away once again from the world of the living. "Forgive me," Ikki said, suddenly pulling her off her feet and lifting her into his arms. Pandora didn't react, she just leaned up against his chest, her body completely limp. "Pandora, stay with me, you're alive, you're alive now so embrace it!"

"What's the point," she continued, her body was so light and her voice so wispy. "There's no one here on earth who even wants me here..."

Ikki frowned. These word were not befitting her. The cosmo that he had begun to sense was one of vibrance and drive. Whatever heart Hades has sealed away all those years ago was just now starting to reemerge.

"I want you here," Ikki said, gazing down at her unwaveringly. She looked up at him at long last, her eyes glassy, her lips slightly pursed. 

"Don't lie to me."

"I'll keep saying it then until you believe me." Ikki said with a huff, turning away from the cliff and marching back up the forest path. He retraced their steps and held her tightly, Pandora's heart still beat, while her breathing was slow and shallow. 

She drifted away, to sleep, Ikki hoped. He would hold her, he would restore to her the life hades had taken away. Perhaps out of duty, perhaps because he wished that someone could do the same for him. But no matter the reason, Ikki swore to himself that it would be done, no matter what.


	2. Chapter 2

Returning to the hut at long last, Pandora was beyond exhausted. Though she had hardly been awake an hour, she already felt completely drained of energy. Ikki placed her gently back onto the bed, where she flopped down lifelessly. With the harsh light of the sun now at bay, Pandora began to open her eyes, and slowly recollect herself.

Ikki was busying himself about the hut, where he had a bedroll set up on the floor. Besides that, a dining table, and to the right a small kitchen. After several moments of silence, Ikki turned his concerned expression back to Pandora where she lay.

“Are you hungry?” Ikki asked, kneeling own besides her bed.

She looked down at her stomach, placing her hands over her abdomen and pondering for a moment. “I…I don’t know…” she clenched her hands over the satin fabric. 

“When was the last time you ate?”

Pandora’s face clouded as she struggled to remember the memories that had once been hidden from her. “It must have been, over ten years ago…”

Ikki gave her a puzzled look. 

“When the twin gods took. me, they offered me a pomegranate,” she said with a bitter smile. “And since then, I have known neither hunger nor thirst.”

“Like the myth with…Persephone?”

Ikki gave a thoughtful grunt. “If you haven’t even ingested anything for that long a time…we have to be careful,” Ikki himself had a lot of experience with hunger and thirst. On Death Queen Island, he would often go days without water, and maybe a whole week without food. And there was only so much a lowly slave such as Esmeralda could have done to help him.

“I’m gonna go down to the village and ask an old woman that I know is she has any remedies,” Ikki said as he started for the door again.

“Wait--” Pandora said, her hand darting out to grab his wrist.

Ikki looked at her, concern on his face. “Pandora, you all but collapsed earlier, you should stay here and rest, I won’t be long.”

Pandora looked down, not letting go. “I don’t want to be alone…” she whispered. 

Ikki placed a hand over hers, meeting her gaze when she looked up in surprise. “Listen, I won’t be far. Just concentrate, and you’ll be able to sense me where-ever I am,” Ikki gently pulled her hands away and left the hut, leaving Pandora alone in the cold.

 

\---

 

When night arrived, Ikki finally returned to their hut, like a dutiful husband returning from the day’s work. Pandora was still wearing the heavy black dress that she had been when Ikki first found her, but even that seemed to do very little to ease her chill. Pandora sat there, arms winding around herself as she curled under the meager blankets as best as she could.

“Pandora,” Ikki said, looking down at her, his eyebrows creased in concern.

She squinted, focusing her eyes, seeing that he had not returned empty-handed. He then began unloading the basket in his arms, placing various bundles and bottles on the table near her bed. Pandora watched him idly, her eyes inevitably falling to his toned arms, exposed by his cut-off shirt.

He turned to her, his expression flat as he moved to sit on the bed with her. Pandora did her best to suppress her shivers, but to little avail, as she pushed the covers off of herself. Pandora tried to sit up, accepting Ikki’s offered hand when she couldn’t find the strength to do so herself. 

They looked at each other for a few moments before Ikki spoke up. “Here, drink this,” Ikki said, lifting the bottle to her lips. 

“What is it?” she asked.

“It’s just sugar water,” he said, nudging it against her bottom lip. “We need to get your body used to digesting sugar again. If we just start giving you food again, your body will go into shock.”

Pandora nodded, taking the bottle and tipping it back. The sickly-sweet liquid slid down her throat, hitting her stomach with an audible squelch. She wretched and lurched forward, slamming a hand over her mouth to keep from vomiting all over Ikki.

“Are you alright?” Ikki asked, placing a hand on her shoulder to steady her.

“I’m fine, I just feel a little ill,” she said, still visibly retching.

“You are only supposed to drink a little at a time, don’t overdo it,” he said, reaching back and grabbing her another bottle. “Here, drink this as much as you can, it’s just pure water. Tomorrow you can try more sugar water.”

Pandora nodded, clutching her stomach and falling back on to the bed. Ikki looked on, his concern plain on his face. Pandora did not like this feeling at all, she felt like a child, or an invalid. Which arguably, she was both in at least some respect.

Pandora’s eyes followed him as he stood up, leaving her without a word and going to some other room in the hut. 

After he left she rolled over, desperately pulling the blankets back around herself. Ikki left the room, for what, Pandora did not know. But the whole time he was gone, she shivered, almost to the point of convulsions. After what felt like hours, Ikki returned. She rolled back over to look at him, her teeth chattering so violently that she felt that they might break.

“Are you alright?” Ikki asked, approaching her cautiously.

“I am…I am fine,” Pandora managed to utter through chattering teeth.

“You don’t look fine.”

“I swear I am, this place is just…drafty.”

Ikki grimaced, crouching down and placing a hand on her face. “Gods, you’re as cold as ice!”

“Yes, I’ve often been called a cold, heartless woman,” Pandora said, the humour lost to her incessant chatters.

Ikki still seemed to be dissatisfied. With a grunt, he grabbed his blanket from the bedroll he was going to use and carried it over to Pandora’s bed.

“I can’t use that, you need a blanket too.”

“In that case, we’ll just share it,” Ikki stated, nodding his head to gesture her to scoot over.

Pandora’s face immediately burst into a crimson blush as she could scarcely believe what he was suggesting. But without a second thought, she rolled away and pressed herself as far against the wall as she could manage. She couldn’t bear to face him as he climbed into bed with her, squeezing her eyes shut as she faced the wall.

“Pandora,” the sheer closeness of his voice caused another shock of heat to course through her body. She forced herself to roll back over and look at him, so incredibly close that this certainly all had to be an elaborate dream. “If you’re cold, just hold onto me for warmth.”

She could hardly reject a proposal like that, but it was so hard to move under his unwavering gaze. “Alright,” she nodded, jerking her head to beckon him closer instead. Ikki complied, pulling her face to his chest and draping an arm across her. 

“Is that better?” Ikki asked his voice more felt than heard as his breath flowed through her hair.

“Yes…this will suffice,” Ikki was like a human furnace. His body and Cosmo burned so bright and hot that is almost felt like she might be burned. But it was still a pleasant heat, the kind that reminded you that you were alive.

Ikki let out a soft chuckle, glad to see that her tremors had subsided. He suspected that it was more than just the chill that was affecting her. Feeling her body relax was a comfort to him. Part of him feared that she would suddenly slip out of the realm of the living without warning. It was already such an impossibility that she had even survived, it seemed like she might just disappear at any moment. And to that end, how Ikki had seemingly already become attached to someone who had originally tried to kill him was beyond him. But then again, Ikki had once tried to kill his own flesh and blood under his old misguided thoughts.

Unable to fully understand his actions or his feelings, Ikki continued to hold her as tightly as he could. This girl with whom he shared such unfortunate similarities, she quivered in the cold and so he simply had to do what he could.

“Ikki…” Pandora said softly, her fingers clenching over his chest.

“What is it?” he took her hand out of sheer instinct, waiting for her to respond. She didn’t however, and instead just continued to breathe softly. Clearly, she had already fallen asleep, and so there was nothing more that Ikki could do. Nothing, apart from trying to find sleep and pray that she would still be there when he awoke.


	3. Chapter 3

When Ikki awoke, he saw nothing but pale skin, dark hair and long lashes. For a moment, he was still in a daze, not fully realizing what had happened. Pandora was lying there in his arms, peaceful and serene. He even swore that he could glimpse the beginnings of a smile on her lips. He tried to get up but found that her hands were still clamped tightly on his shirt. In doing so, he had to put an arm on the other side of her body to support himself. He ended up suspended over her, gazing absentmindedly at her sleeping face.  
His dark shaggy bangs hung down, obscuring his eyes as he just kept looking at her, wondering when she would wake, or if she would wake at all

“Pandora,” he said again, lifting a hand to brush some hair away from her face.  
Pandora’s eyes opened suddenly, and she stared back up at him without reacting. They stared at each other for a moment longer, before Ikki seemed to realize how his actions could be misconstrued. He jerked back, his face forming an expression of shock and embarrassment.  
“Forgive me I just— I wanted to—” How could Ikki say it? That he was worried she may not awake ever again?  
“So, are you going to kill me then? Or do you want something else of me?”  
Ikki couldn’t respond immediately, instead, he kept gazing into her eyes, now he could see that they were blank and distant.  
“Pandora, you’re awake now, you’re alive,” was all she could think to say. He placed a hand against her cheek again, to try and tie her to the earth with his physical warmth. She was still so cold. Her heart was beating, her chest rose and fell with her breathing. But something was still gone.  
Her cosmo. It was still incredibly faint. Cosmo that was the burning fire of life itself, he could scarcely even sense it. And so her emotions and thoughts were beyond his grasp, she felt like hardly more than a ghost.

Ikki pulled himself off of her and got up from the bed. Pandora didn’t so much as move an inch as he went and gathered some more for her to try and drink.

Ikki began to fumble around the corners of his mind, trying to find ways that he could try and help her. A distant memory, one full of warmth came to light. With Esmeralda, on that cursed Island, he had experienced moments of happiness. Of playful innocence between two lost souls.  
“Ikki,” Esmerelda said, her arms curled in on herself as she looked at him shyly.  
“Yes, what is it?” Ikki asked, looking back at her, his eyes clear and straight.  
“Do you think that maybe…you could give me a kiss?”  
“Huh?” Ikki asked, his face flushing as he stared back at her in utter bewilderment. “Isn’t that…something that adults do?”  
Esmeralda shook her head. “No…it’s something you do with the person that you like…”  
Ikki remained silent for a few moments, unable to respond.  
“I’m sorry! Did I say something wrong?”  
“No…not exactly—”  
Esmeralda pulled herself a little closer, looking up at Ikki with half-closed eyes.

It had been brief and awkward, and now the memory was drowned in bitter grief. But it seemed as likely as anything to help her. Pandora was distant, and the only thing that seemed to keep her even remotely tethered was the warmth and closeness of another person.  
Ikki leaned in, pressing his lips gently against hers. He met no resistance but also got no response. Her lips were cold and dry, not even scrunching up in refusal. When ikki pulled away, he was about ready to give up. He turned away, sitting back on the edge of the bed, ready to ponder again how exactly he could possibly help her.  
But to his surprise, Ikki immediately felt the force of pointed elbows against his back, and in the next moment, he was lying face first flat on the cold floor of their cabin.  
Pandora loomed up behind him, rising and stepping from the bed to stand over Ikki, her cosmo ignited in pure rage.  
“What in Hades’ name do you think you’re doing?”  
“I was trying to cheer you up,” Ikki replied rather flatly.  
“I wasn’t drowning, I was not in any need of mouth-to-mouth,”  
“Then I apologize for being out of line,” Ikki said, the corner of his mouth quirking up briefly as he rolled over, sitting up and dusting himself off.  
Pandora lunged in, grabbing the collar of his shirt roughly and glaring directly at him.  
“I don’t care what you were trying to do. I have no intention of just letting myself be used!” Pandora scowled, her face twisting in such a dramatic way that Ikki somehow felt an odd bubble of relief in his chest.  
He grinned, looking up at her for a few moments. “Very well, I will make sure to ask permission the next time.”  
Pandora gave a disgruntled huff and threw him back against the floor. She turned on her heel, her gown sweeping dramatically behind her.  
“Now, where exactly do you intend on going without eating first?”  
“I don’t believe I ever asked you to be my mother,” Pandora said, throwing a brief poisonous glance back his way.  
Ikki didn’t respond. Getting up and gathering up a flask and a small bundle to give to Pandora.  
“Just down the hill and to the right is a well where you can get water. There’s sugar and some gruel that you can try and eat on your own if you wish.”  
Pandora looked back at him for just a moment longer before turning on her heel and leaving their hut in a flurry of black silk.

Pandora still wasn’t prepared to face the sunlight, she grimaced and threw her hand up to block the sun with her wide sleeve. Following Ikki’s instructions, she walked down to the well, moving as quickly as she could through the forest.

She sat down in front of the well, placing the flask and food down next to her. She glared out at the forest in front of her, the slope continuing down into a river valley.  
After a moment’s pause, Pandora then was able to take in exactly what she had done. She blinked, and then looked back up the hill where she came from, and then back at her hands.

She moved her hands slowly, stretching out her fingers and holding them up to the light. She stretched out her arms and spread them out wide.  
“I’m not…tired.” Pandora breathed in disbelief. The feeling coursing through her body was distinct, but yet she could not seem to name it. Her body felt light, she was no longer held down by the weight of her mortal form, and yet she was not so wispy that she might float away.  
Pandora then placed a hand to her lips wonderingly. “His lips were so…warm,” she mused. The kiss hadn’t been unpleasant. Thinking back on it now, she hadn’t felt disgusted. She still quite liked being close to Ikki. But what she had felt was sadness, rage betrayal.  
What she feared most was Ikki only using her, pitying her; that perhaps he was only showing her kindness as to get something out of her.  
But besides that fear having been confirmed on a surface level, some things still didn’t quite fall into place.  
If Ikki had really been intending to just take advantage of her and use her like some doll, would he have really waited so long?  
And his kiss, it had been so brief, and frankly devoid of desire.  
Perhaps, there was some merit to his claim. She clenched her hands together.  
Deep in the back of her mind, a thought continued to flicker like a dull flame.

  
_I_ don’t _want to be used”_

  
“I don’t want to be used!” she said, standing up and shouting suddenly into the void. Her own strength surprised her, but she didn’t sway on her feet. Instead, she continued to walk down the hill, her feet carrying her over the uneven ground.

When she arrived at the well, she sat down. The well was situated on a crested hill that sat at the top of a winding path over a green hillside. The forest was still thick all around her, and she was alone as far as she could see. But to her dismay, that would not remain the case for long.  
From behind a tree, a young teen girl emerged, her brown hair parted in the center into two loose ponytails.  
“Who are you?” Pandora asked, her eyes narrowing.  
“I’m Helene,” she said with a gentle smile, walking out from behind her tree and standing a few feet away from Pandora still. “Are you Pandora?”  
“Yes, how did you know.”  
“I’m Helene. Ikki told me that he was taking care of someone called Pandora at his place, so I wanted to meet you!”  
For some reason, the idea that Ikki would have a cordial relationship with anyone, especially this young woman was quite baffling to Pandora. “Well, here I am, what business do you have with me?”  
“Ikki was really worried when he came to my house the other day. He wanted to know how to feed someone who hadn’t eaten in a long time, so of course, I wanted to check on you and make sure you were recovering!”  
“Thank you for your concern,” Pandora said cooly, still regarding Helene with far more suspicion than what was warranted. “But I assure you, I am doing perfectly fine?”  
“Yeah, you must be! Being able to go outside on your own like this,” she smiled. “I’m happy that you weren’t too seriously malnourished or anything.”  
Pandora stood up, gathering her things and preparing to leave. Where to, she didn’t know, but somewhere else. “Are you leaving?”  
“I don’t see any reason to remain here,” Pandora replied.  
“Well, in that case, you should come back with me! Ikki told us that you had no other belongings, so I’m sure you need clothes at the very least.”  
“I thank you for the offer, but there is no need,” Pandora turned and began to walk away.  
“Wait, don’t go!”Helene said suddenly, both her hands darting out to fasten around Pandora’s wrist.  
“Let go of me.”  
“Please wait?” Helene asked with a pleading expression. “You can’t seriously be thinking of staying in that big bulky black dress for the rest of the summer?”  
“I don’t see why this is your concern,”  
“It’s not my… _concern_ ,” Helene replied with a slightly confused scowl. “I want to help you! You can just borrow the dresses if you want, but having something fresh to wear will help cheer you up!”  
Not knowing what it was that Ikki had told her, she didn’t know what Helene could mean by that, but for the moment, her best course of action was clear. “Very well, I’ll go with you.”  
“Yay!” Helene exclaimed, throwing up one of her hands in glee while still holding onto Pandora with the other.

Helene lead Pandora to a modestly sized house with a plain exterior and a dirt yard where several children were playing. On the house’s porch a couple women a little older than Pandora hung laundry or watched over the younger children. As they approached, three of the youngest children ran up to Pandora and Helene full of excitement.  
“Ooh….is this Pandora?!” The older of the three exclaimed.  
“Yes it is, Lisle,” Helene said, finally letting go of Pandora and reaching down to pat the girl’s head.  
“She’s sooooo pretty!” The girl next to Lisle said, reaching out to touch Pandora’s skirt.  
Pandora gritted her teeth and jerked back, only to hear a small squeak from behind her. Turning around, Pandora saw that the young boy that was with them had snuck behind her and had grabbed at the ends of Pandora’s hair.  
“Miss Pandora your hair is so pretty! Can we please braid it? Please?” Pandora jerked her hair and skirt out of the children’s grasp, striding away from them and towards the house.  
“Children! Don’t overwhelm our guest!” Helene said in a high-pitched squeak. After this, Helene seemed to have gotten a handle on the children and rushed back over to Pandora with an apologetic look on her face.  
“I’m so sorry Pandora! We can go inside where it’s quiet.”  
Pandora followed Helene inside without another word, exchanging brief glances with the others of the house before scurrying inside.  
“Honestly, don’t worry about imposing. We all help make clothes here and sell them to the other villagers.”  
“But I can’t afford to pay you.”  
“I meant what I said, Ikki will take care of it,”  
Pandora grimaced, letting out an annoyed huff.  
“Now don’t look so down! What kind of guy doesn’t spoil his girlfriend every once in a while?” Helene paused. “Well I guess this doesn’t exactly count…since you have no other possessions,” she said with a pondering look on her face.  
Pandora didn’t respond and only trudged ahead, determined to scrutinize the clothes before her rather than think a moment more on what Helene had suggested.

Pandora ran her hands along the rack of clothes, her hands feeling the stark difference in touch and feel between the fabrics.  
“Oops! not over there dear, That’s all our cool-weather clothing.” Pandora turned back around to look at Helene. When she did, Pandora saw what Helene was now holding. It was a short-sleeved dress, made from a navy fabric, with a dainty pattern of flowers spread evenly over the garment.  
“How about this?” Helene asked.  
Pandora paused, biting her lip. “It will suffice. All that matters is that it covers me, right?”  
“Yes, but I want to make sure that you _like _it!”  
Pandora blinked. “I mean…clothing serves a function? What else is there to it?”  
“I mean, isn’t it better to wear something that will make you happy?”  
Pandora didn’t respond. In the underworld, she had been sealed away from all such emotions. Enjoyment, fondness, pleasure, happiness. Perhaps she had felt those things as a child, but now, could she even begin to find that human part of herself again?  
Pandora didn’t respond, feeling foolish. “If it fits, then I suppose it will work.”  
Helene frowned. “But Pandora— at least try it and see if you like how you look in it! We have a mirror we can use.”  
Pandora again didn’t respond, her face remaining blank. Helene, however, took Pandora by the hand and led her over to a floor length mirror. She stood Pandora in front of it and held the dress in front of her to see how it matched, and Pandora couldn’t help but stare at something besides the clothes that Helene wanted her to.  
When was the last time that she had even looked at her own face? Pandora did not, nor could she remember. Pandora’s eyes were locked on her own eyes, so dark a brown that they appeared black. In the current lighting, iris blended into pupil and her eyes were discs of black in a circle of white. Her face was beyond sallow, the skin deathly pale, but with a slight dusting of blush. Her own eyes looked terrified, chapped lips pressed tight, and her long hair falling thick and oily past her shoulders.  
This was indeed the body that she had been inhabiting her whole life, but whether it could even be called “hers” she had no way of knowing.  
“So what do you think.”  
“It’s fine,” Pandora blurted. “Please, just give me clothes that you think are suitable.”  
“But miss Pandora—”  
“I don’t know what I like, okay!?“ Pandora suddenly yelled, turning back to stare at Helene. Helene’s mouth quickly snapped shut, seeing Pandora’s frustration and grief bubble up.  
“I’m sorry…“  
“No! No no no….” Pandora shook her head. “Don’t apologize. It’s not your fault it’s— it’s!!” Her story was absurd, preposterous. She couldn’t possibly tell it. “Listen I was raised in a way that I didn’t have the opportunity for those things. Okay? Please just…I need the clothes. I’m sorry…”  
Pandora was fully expecting Helene to yell right back, but she instead did something quite unexpected.  
It took Pandora a moment to realize, but in her distress, Helene had stepped forward to hold and comfort her.  
“It’s alright, Pandora. You don’t have to tell me if it’s too painful.”  
Pandora sniffed and hesitantly placed her hand on Helene’s back. It was warm. The human contact sent a rush of calm through her whole body.  
“I’ll just pick some clothes I think look good on you, and if you stay here through winter, you can come pick out more.”  
Pandora nodded, pulling back and averting her face. “Thank you…Helene. You are very kind.”  
“Don’t mention it!” Helene smiled, jumping back and immediately rushing back to the closet. “Just let me get your measurements, and I’ll get you taken care of.”

  
—

That late afternoon, back in front of the house, Pandora sat on the porch, clothed in fresh garments, with a sizeable bag of clothes next to her. She had been offered refreshments but had refused. Instead, she took to watching the children playing while she waited. Waited, as it seemed, for Ikki to arrive so that she could go back with him.  
Helene played in the yard with the other kids, looking completely at ease and full of life. But a question still remained in the back of her mind, what exactly had happened to bring all these people together? And why did they all seem indebted to Ikki?

While Pandora was looking down, she heard the children’s shouts change. There was a gasp and then excited muttering, and then collective cries of joy.  
“Ikki! Big brother Ikki! You’re back!”  
When Pandora looked up, she saw Ikki standing there, letting his load slump to the ground as the children all but swarmed him. He crouched and picked up the young boy and lifted him into the air, causing him to giggle excitedly.  
Around her, Helene and the other older kids gave him their greetings, while Pandora remained behind, knotting her hands together.

  
“Pandora,” Ikki said, his voice low and soft. “If you wish, you can stay here instead.”  
Pandora looked up at him, taking in his face as he was lit up by the rays of the setting sun.  
Pandora paused before replying, looking from Ikki back out towards the children. They were kind and generous, but they were complete strangers. Arguably Ikki too was scarcely more than a stranger to her. But among these happy members of the living world, she just couldn’t imagine herself fitting in. That pale and lifeless girl she had seen in the mirror, just didn’t match the warm scene she was seeing. “I would appreciate it if you didn’t assume my wishes.”  
Pandora stood up, dusting off her new stone-blue ankle length empire-waist dress, taking the satchel and placing it in Ikki’s arms. “If you would be so kind.” Pandora flounced past him, off the porch and through the yard.  
“Very well,” Ikki replied, following her at a brisk pace.  
Just before she left, the young boy from before clutched her skirts again. WhenPandoraa looked down, she saw that he held a few fresh-picked wildflowers in his fists. “Here…these are for you. I’m sorry I touched your hair.”  
Pandora paused again, but took the flowers nonetheless. “Thank you for your apology.” She didn’t know how else to react, looking around at all the incredibly kind and smiling faces. “Thank you all, so much for your kindness. but I am afraid that it is time for me to retire for the day.”  
Helene lifted a hand a waved at her. “Don’t worry about it! Take your time and rest up!”  
Pandora nodded, acknowledging all the others before turning one last time to head back alone with Ikki.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i apologize for just throwing out this mess but being able to publish something again is what I need to do. When i'm more in the flow again I'll get back into a proper editing process again. but for now, these sad kids just need some solace.


	4. Chapter 4

For several long minutes, the two of them walked together in silence.

Even though Pandora had ran from him in a fit of rage that morning, Ikki had still done all he could to take care of her. And as such, she felt little need to maintain a grudge towards him.

After a long stretch of silence, Ikki finally spoke up.

“How did you get along with Helene and the others?”

Pandora paused before responding. “It was…interesting,” she settled on. “I was a little taken by surprise, to be entirely honest.”

Ikki smirked. “Helene seems to have that effect on people.”

“I assume one of the places you disappear to is their place?”

“Yeah,” Ikki nodded. “When I first brought you here, it was Helene that I sought help from,” Ikki said. “Although it pains me to do so.”

“Why is that? Helene and the others seem to be indebted to you, you should let them follow their convictions.”

Ikki gave her a bitter smile. “Helene and the other older girls insist that I saved their lives, and that they owe me a debt. But in reality, their lives would not have needed saving if the corruption in the sanctuary hadn’t torn their lives apart.”

“What?”

Ikki grimaced. “Honestly, it’s hard for me to have even said that Hades and his army were the only bad guys in this. Before the holy war even began, the gemini saint Saga was possessed by Ares.”

“The god of battle Ares?”

“One and the same.”

“How curious. My understanding was that he was vanquished eons ago.”

“Well he has become so again,” Ikki replied, somewhat bitterly. “But the reality is that Ares while controlling saga ordered countless assassinations, villages burned and families slaughtered.”

“Whatever for?!”

“Anyone who was born under blessed stars, anyone who might have a divine cosmo. They and everyone that they knew was ordered to be murdered.”

“That’s…”

“Pretty horrifying, huh?” Ikki paused as he gazed at her for a few moments. “I’m sure you see my point, right? That you who once served Hades…”

Pandora brushed his hand away. “Yes I see your point.”

Ikki’s brows furrowed. “I just hope that you don’t think you owe me anything either, okay?”

Pandora looked back at him, her eyes wide.

“Promise me. I saved you because…because of how similar we are. And because you didn’t deserve to die.”

“Yes…I understand your reasonings but—”

“But what?”

“But then why did you kiss me!?” Pandora blurted, suddenly becoming embarrassed after she realized what she said.

Ikki stared back at her, equally if not more bewildered.

“Why…why have you been holding me the way you have. Why do you keep touching me…?”

“Should I stop?” he asked.

“No!” She replied, a bit too desperately. “That’s the most confusing part. I don’t want you to stop I—” Pandora’s ivory skin had begun to flush red and she averted her gaze. “I feel like almost…almost like I—” she put both hands to her face. “No, forgive me, I’m being absurd— I—”

Ikki had suddenly placed a hand on her shoulder, taking a step closer to her. “Are you saying that you want me to kiss you again?”

Pandora gazed up at him, his dark brown eyes never seeming more luminous than in that moment. Pandora launched herself to the balls of her feet, throwing her arms around Ikki’s neck and pulling him into an incredibly sloppy kiss. Ikki didn’t push her away, only draped his free arm around her and held her as close as he could.

When they parted, Ikki relaxed his arms and met her eyes again. Pandora didn’t turn away in embarrassment this time, instead she remained close. It felt much better this time, with her being in control. If Ikki would allow her, she would gladly indulge in more of his human warmth.

“No ikki, I don’t want you to kiss me. I want to kiss you.”

“Understood,” Ikki said, his lips falling into a surprisingly warm smile. They pulled apart and began to continue walking together, now just standing a little closer. Pandora continuously stole glances toward’s Ikki’s direction, her lips forming into a small frown.

“What are you grinning about?” Pandora asked.

Ikki glanced at her, his expression quite innocent. “Oh it’s…” he paused. “Well it’s not nothing,” he paused, staring down at his hand, watching his fingers clasp together as he struggled for the right words. “It’s your cosmo, I felt it.” He said with a small chuckle.

“What is that supposed to mean.”

“Ever since I first met you, your cosmo has been incredibly dull. Not even like that of an ordinary person. I think perhaps, it made me assume that you were perhaps not even human. Forgive me for that,”

Pandora stared back at him as he spoke, her steps drawing herself closer to him with very step.

“I thought maybe you were some sort of puppet or conjugation; one of Hades’ servants. But, at that moment at the river of Acheron,” he paused. “When you gave me the necklace, that's when I first felt that you were truly a human after all.”

Pandora let out a light chuckle. “Thank you then, for acknowledging my humanity.” But, he was not wrong. What was it that made a person human at all? It wasn’t just having a human body, gods could inhabit human bodies but that didn’t make them any more human.

Being truly human was something more. It was having memories, desires, bonds and dreams. Pandora, while living in the underworld, had known none of those things.

“It makes me happy,” Ikki said gently. “I came back for you, because i felt that your Cosmo hadn’t disappeared after all. I left Elysium and went straight back, I couldn’t let that light go out again.”

Pandora didn’t meet his eyes, a little embarrassed and overwhelmed by his sincerity. When he stopped talking, Pandora reached out and took her hand, squeezing his fingers tightly without saying anything else. Ikki let out a small please sigh, squeezing her hand back in return.

Ikki was never much one for expressing himself in fancy words, and so he was happy if his feelings could get across without them. Physical touch and affection, he found, was a rather effective way to communicate after all.

ーー

They returned once again to their little cabin, Pandora unable to do anything else but collapse back onto her bed.

It was tiring, exhausting. All of it was. Pandora hardly could understand why she was so tired again already.

Ikki left her be while he put away the things they received from the others. Pandora curled up in bed. Despite her having been in such a similar state the past few days, she found that now she deeply detested how useless she felt. How still ultimately powerless she was.

The evening progressed calmly. Ikki prepared supper, but this time Pandora insisted on eating with him at the table. Pandora noticed how he was purposefully giving her larger and more desirable portions. Seeing this caused her to frown again.

“Do you not like the food?”

Pandora shook her head. “It’s fine. I haven’t really tasted much food at all in my life so, it’s all new to me.”

Ikki nodded and fell back into silence. It was probably pointless to make Ikki eat more, since his priority was clearly on making sure that Pandora recovered fully. But she thought to herself to make sure that Ikki didn’t keep this behavior going longer than necessary.

After their meal, Pandora went to the bag of clothes she had received from Helene. She had been instructed that the light white garment included was for sleeping. She pulled her new dress off over her head and slipped out of the various finicky under garments.

Before she could put the nightgown on, Pandora heard something from behind her. Ikki’s footsteps and then what sounded like a surprised grunt. Pandora glanced back at him with a bored expression on her face.

“What are you staring at?” Pandora asked.

Ikki shook his head. “Ah, nothing. I was just surprised.”

“Surprised by what?” Pandora asked, still not putting on her nightgown.

Ikki paused and pondered for a moment. “I suppose this makes sense too. You didn’t live among humans. You never learned about…” he shrugged. “Not that it matters to me but, just know that usually if you take off your clothes in front of a stranger it might be seen as weird.”

Pandora blinked and continued to put on the gown without another word. “There was no issue when I changed in front of Helene,” she observed.

Ikki nodded. “It depends on the person. Anyway, it doesn’t matter.” He seemed rather eager to move on from the subject, and Pandora couldn’t find the will to care, she was far too tired.

Pandora returned to the bed, more than eager to rest once again.

To her dismay however, she saw that ikki pulled out a bedroll and appeared to be intending to sleep on the floor.

“Ikki,” Pandora said, his name falling from her lips like a smooth stone into placid waters.

“Yes, Pandora?”

“Get into the bed.” She was not going to request it, but demand it. And to her surprise and delight, he dutifully complied.

“I would not want you to be too cold, not when your health is still so fragile.”

Pandora grunted, pressing her face against Ikki’s chest perhaps a little too eagerly. Ikki was relaxed and compliant, his arm drapaing over her and his chin resting on the crown of her head.

 

 


End file.
